


trust me, thats what i will be

by hingabee



Series: White Diamond [7]
Category: Metal Gear
Genre: Anxiety, Childhood Trauma, Cuddling, Dissociation, Dogs, Hurt/Comfort, Kissing, M/M, Snow
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-27
Updated: 2020-12-27
Packaged: 2021-03-10 18:21:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,495
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28351602
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hingabee/pseuds/hingabee
Summary: Mantis takes an unexpected deep-dive into his past. Thankfully Liquid is there to catch him.
Relationships: Liquid Snake/Psycho Mantis
Series: White Diamond [7]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/923049
Comments: 10
Kudos: 7





	trust me, thats what i will be

**Author's Note:**

  * For [aireyv](https://archiveofourown.org/users/aireyv/gifts).



> merry whumpmas!
> 
> this falls in line with the white diamond plotline but is absolutely not confirmed canon (yet), but doesnt really require any knowledge of the actual series to understand :)
> 
> also yes the title is FOB lyrics, who do you take me for

_[Location REDACTED], early 2008_

"Eli, wake up! Your mother is calling."

Liquid grunted, peeked up at Mantis holding the phone from under his blanket and then drew it back over his face. 

"Tell her I'll call back. 'M tired."

"You've been lying in bed for days."

"... what's your point?" 

Mantis sighed. "If you don't want to talk to her I'll gladly have a chat with her myself."

"..."

Liquid snatched the phone from his hand.

"Eli! Finally I get ahold of you! Is everything alright?" EVA's voice was way too excited and loud for his taste. 

"... yes, mother."

"Are you sure, you sound a little... sick." 

He groaned. "Why are you calling? Did something happen?" 

An offended huff. "Do I _need_ a special reason to call my own son?" 

"Well, you usually make one up." Liquid stretched and rubbed his eyes. "So, what is it this time?"

EVA didn't reply immediately, clearly pouting at having been called out. 

"Well, Ocelot was digging through some old records he recovered and came across something... interesting." 

"What's that got to do with me?" Liquid frowned. 

"Well, _nothing_. At least not directly." EVA clicked her tongue. "The documents in question stem from a KGB archive concerning the Leningrad University of Parapsychology..." 

Liquid hesitated for a moment and watched Mantis turn to stare at him, eyes wide. 

"I thought you two might be interested in them. I haven't read anything myself but Ocelot said it offers some... interesting insight into Mantis' life before he met you." 

Covering the receiver, Liquid sat up. 

"Mantis–" 

"I-I don't know, Eli..." He mumbled, uncomfortable. "I guess I'll have to... sleep on it. I've never given any thought to this... " 

Liquid knew that was a lie but chose not to comment. 

"Mother, are you still there? Mantis says he isn't sure if he wants to see those documents."

"That's very understandable." EVA hummed. "How about I'll just send them your way and then Mantis can decide in peace if he wants to look into it or... get rid of them..."

"Er, yes. I suppose that's the best option. Are there any copies?" 

"Not that I know of..."

"Alright. Thanks for the... uh, heads-up." Liquid motioned for Mantis to sit down on the bed next to him. "Sorry, mother, I'd love to chat more but I have to take care of–" 

Quickly apologising for the interruption, EVA agreed, said her goodbyes and ended the call. 

"..." 

Liquid carefully put his arm around Mantis' shoulders. "Are you alright...?" 

"Yes. I don't know. No...?" 

"Mantis..." 

They didn't talk for a long while, just sitting there together with Liquid gently patting Mantis thigh, letting him process the unexpected throwback. 

* * *

The weeks went by without any further incidents and the call mostly was forgotten until one afternoon Wolf walked into the living room to drop a huge envelope on Mantis' lap cackling about how it totally had to be "some kind of BDSM subscription magazine". 

Wordlessly, Mantis placed the envelope on the little desk in his and Liquid's bedroom and tried his best not to think about it. 

Liquid was simultaneously worried and curious but decided to not to pry and instead took Mantis and the dogs on a nice, long walk. 

It was still in the middle of winter, though both Liquid, Frank and Bêdeng didn't particularly mind the cold temperatures and wrestled and played in the snow until Liquid's clothes were completely soaked. 

Mantis mostly stood by with Benedict keeping to his side protectively, smiling and enjoying the time he could spend with his mask off by occasionally throwing a snowball or two at Liquid and the dogs. 

When it started getting dark Liquid wrapped his scarf around Mantis' shivering shoulders as they made their way back to the lodge, the dogs racing each other excitedly through the snow. 

As they stood in front of the door Mantis pressed a quick peck to Liquid's cheek before giving in and kissing him deeply, properly, before putting his mask back on. 

Liquid grinned and flicked the filter of his mask. 

"Thank you, Eli." He whispered against Liquid's neck as they lay in bed after retiring to their room for the night. Liquid just made some incoherent sounds and hugged Mantis to his chest more tightly. 

* * *

He had tried. He _really_ had. 

Mantis anxiously ran his hand through his sparse curls and stared down at the envelope lying on the desk below him. 

Maybe this wasn't even a bad decision. Maybe it would offer some closure, something to finally dig out the old and deeply buried thorns of his past, letting that wound close up to finally be forgotten. 

He flinched when he felt Liquid pressing himself against his back, arms around his waist. 

Jesus. He was so on edge that he hadn't even noticed his own husband approaching him. 

"Come back to bed." Liquid mumbled tiredly against his ear. "We can look at it tomorrow..." 

"I can't..." 

"Mantis..." 

The envelope opened by itself and Mantis took the slightly yellowed papers that slid out of it into his shaking hands. 

"..." 

"It's all in Russian. I don't understand any of this..." Liquid complained, prompting Mantis to nervously laugh. 

"Y'know, that actually makes me feel a little better."

"What's that date up there?" Liquid asked and pointed to the upper right corner of the first page. "Is that when you were transferred to the–"

"No." Mantis said, voice hollow and mouth dry. "...that's my birthday." 

Liquid took quite some time to process that. 

"Mantis, it says nineteen-seventy-six..." 

"Yes." 

"We always assumed you were only a year or two younger than me..." 

"Yes..." 

Liquid pinched the bridge of his nose. "I can't believe this... "

"My birthday was last month..." Mantis exhaled and turned his head towards Liquid. "I turned thirty-two last month. I'm thirty-two." 

Awkwardly smiling at him, Liquid was still clearly upset over that latest revelation. "Happy Birthday, love." 

"Where did he find this..." Mantis mumbled, flipping through the pages and scanning the heavily blacked out blocks of text for any more relevant information. "He always told me there was nothing! That's why I stopped–" 

Something fell out of the stack of documents. Mantis scrambled to pick them up before Liquid could. 

"Who is that?" Liquid asked dumbly. "You?" 

Mantis turned the photograph around, revealing the date on the back of it. 

" _Oh_. You look exactly like her..."

Leaning onto the desk, Mantis felt like he was going to be sick. The next photograph showed a very small, very nervous child with a tooth-gapped smile. 

"This must've been before–" Liquid stopped himself. "You look really cute..."

Mantis breathing got heavier. 

"Eli. Put them away." 

"... what about the other pictures?" 

"I don't want to see _him_. Eli, please–" 

Liquid acquiesced and quickly took the other photographs from Mantis' hands, putting them back in the envelope.

"We should probably go back to bed." He said, switching off the lights and leading Mantis away from the desk, away from his past. 

Nodding mutely, Mantis clung to him. 

It was probably to be expected, but as soon as Mantis was under the covers with Liquid next to him the tears started coming. 

Liquid shushed him occasionally, still let him cry though and tenderly brushed his fingers through Mantis' hair. 

"Why did he find these now?" Mantis sobbed and let Liquid take off his mask so he could wipe his face. The slight buzz of other people's dreams and the mellow minds of the dogs filled his head. "I never wanted–"

Benedict let out a concerned whine from his spot on the floor. 

"Is this his idea of a joke?! Knowing him these are probably faked anyway, but I know they aren't because I remember it, but I _don't_ know if what I remember is real or if it's his–" 

"Mantis, you need to calm down!" Liquid whispered loudly, shaking his shoulders gently. "You're going to wake the others!" 

Mantis looked at his face through the dark and tried to focus on the familiar sight.

"Eli–" More crying. It was humiliating. 

Liquid just kissed him and pulled him closer. "Even if Ocelot did have ulterior motives when he sent those documents to mother, you shouldn't let it get to you." 

Mantis buried his face against him and felt the mattress dip as Benedict jumped on it to cuddle up at their feet. 

Eventually he calmed down a little, still clinging onto Liquid for dear life. 

"... I still think it's weird that you're only thirty-two though." Liquid said suddenly, making a face. 

Mantis giggled and kissed him. "It actually explains quite a lot. I guess I always must have been tall for my age, then."

"Do you want me to get rid of the documents tomorrow? Just forget about it altogether?" 

Mantis was surprised at Liquid's offer, especially because the man was so terribly curious about finding out more about him. 

He paused. "I... don't know yet."

"You don't have to know yet," Liquid mumbled sleepily. "that's alright." 

And it was. 


End file.
